聊聊中国的离婚率
<p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;">按国家统计局的数据，</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri; visibility: visible;">1991-2002</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;">年，中国的粗离婚率在</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri; visibility: visible;">0.72</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;">‰</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri; visibility: visible;">-0.98</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;">‰之间，</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri; visibility: visible;">2003-2010</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;">年，粗离婚率在</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri; visibility: visible;">1.05</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;">‰</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri; visibility: visible;">-2</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;">‰之间，</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri; visibility: visible;">2011</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;">年后，中国人民开始放飞自我，粗离婚率从</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri; visibility: visible;">2.13</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;">‰猛冲到</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri; visibility: visible;">2019</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;">年的</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri; visibility: visible;">3.36</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;">‰，这些年除了</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri; visibility: visible;">2021</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;">年离婚率略低，其他年份一直在</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri; visibility: visible;">3</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;">‰以上，每年有</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri; visibility: visible;">400</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;">多万对离婚。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">以最严重的<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri; visibility: visible;">2019</span>年举例，当年中国<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri; visibility: visible;">947.1</span>万对结婚，<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri; visibility: visible;">415.4</span>万对离婚，总离婚人数相当高，我们常听到一些耸人听闻的新闻，说中国离婚率高达百分之几十，就是从这个数据去推导的，简单地用离婚人数除以结婚人数，实际上这样算不怎么科学，我们常说的粗离婚率，是当年离婚对数<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri; visibility: visible;">/</span>年平均人口数<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri; visibility: visible;">*1000</span>‰，数据能到<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri; visibility: visible;">5</span>‰就已经够惊悚了。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">有粗就有细。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我们有时会听到比利时<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">71%</span>、葡萄牙<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">68%</span>、德国<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">46%</span>的惊人离婚率，那就是细的算法，通常指年度离婚数与已婚妇女人口比，这个算法是恐怖主义算法，为了人类和平，国际上一般不采纳。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">按粗离婚率，欧洲第一的是立陶宛，也不过<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">3.1</span>‰，第二名的丹麦是<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">2.8</span>‰，第三名的芬兰是<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">2.4</span>‰，比利时、葡萄牙的粗离婚率，也只有<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">2</span>‰。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">世界其他各国，美国粗离婚率是<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">2.9</span>‰，日本是<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">1.5</span>‰，韩国是<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">2.1</span>‰。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">2021</span>年是中国离婚率的一个分界线，猛地从上年的<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">3.1</span>‰回落到<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">2</span>‰。这是因为离婚率高得吓人，远超欧美日韩，可能是世界第一了，中国紧急推出了“离婚冷静期”这个制度，想离婚的话，夫妻俩先回去洗把脸，冷处理一个月想明白再来，别火急火燎地跑来离婚，迅速就把离婚率打下来了。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">这个方法其实是跟韩国学来的，我们婚姻遇到的困境，韩国前些年早走了一遍。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">1990</span>年韩国粗离婚率是<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">1</span>‰，随着经济的发展，<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">2003</span>年猛地杀到<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">3.4</span>‰，远超各发达国家，仅比美国<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">3.8</span>‰低，当年韩国全国上下都头疼，管自己叫“离婚共和国”，只好推出了“离婚熟虑制”，没孩子回去冷静一个月，有未成年孩子冷静三个月，离婚一下被打落到<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">2</span>‰。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">事物发展是有规律的，中国这边一模一样，离婚冷静期一推出，中国离婚率也立马从<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">3.1</span>‰落到<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">2</span>‰。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">面对上升的离婚率，通常会让人联想“婚姻不幸”这四个字，以为当代中国人的生活越来越糟，才会产生这种现象。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">其实这是完全错误的认知。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">在过去，“婚姻不幸”跟“人生不幸”是绑定在一起的，离婚代表着余后人生，尤其是女性的余后人生极可能会遭到毁灭性打击。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: 宋体;">而今天，</span><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: 宋体;">“婚姻不幸”跟“人生不幸”已经彻底分割，</span></strong><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: 宋体;">离婚只是离婚，不能决定后面漫长的人生，离婚对人生影响的权重越来越低。</span></span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我小时候住在湖南农村时，邻居有夫妻吵架，女方气不过，转头就喝了农药自杀，没给救回来。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">这种事在<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">1980</span>年代的农村时常发生，<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">80</span>年代前应该更多，我稍大一点就想不明白，离婚不就行了吗？何必要自杀呢。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">同样的问题，也出现在我第一次读《金瓶梅》时，看到李瓶儿那么有钱，为什么老是巴巴着嫁人，而且会主动埋伏笔，还在跟这位过日子，就开始物色下一任丈夫。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">她第一次上西门家找第三任老公花子虚，没寻着人，就很暧昧地对西门庆说“看奴之面，劝他早些回家。”她第一次跟西门庆见面，完全没有情感积累，哪来什么面什么面的，用词十分主动，有主动贴上去的嫌疑，西门庆一听就懂。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">花子虚刚病死，她就想嫁给西门庆，但西门庆钓了她半年，突然卷入其他案子耽误了，又矮又丑又不行的蒋竹山趁虚而入，说西门庆已被连累，“在家躲避不出，房子盖的半落不和的，都丢了，东京关下文书，坐落府县拿人，多半是入官抄没的数儿，娘子没来由嫁他做甚？”</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">李瓶儿马上就怕了，病急乱投医，主动说要嫁蒋竹山，请他入赘，给他三百两银子开店，用词更加直接主动：</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“人家倒也不论大小，只要像先生这般人物的。”</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">西门庆搞定麻烦后，回头就把蒋竹山往死里整，蒋竹山又被李瓶儿扫出家门，只好逃命去了，西门庆完全掌握主动权，此后三番五次羞辱李瓶儿，李瓶儿却咬死要嫁他，把我看书看得都给整不会了。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">李瓶儿萌萌，做一个独立单身富婆它不香吗？</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">后来世面见多了才知道，在生产力不发达的阶段，女性脱离家庭这个单位，是十分危险的，离开婚姻约等于离开安全范围，会落入到比较危险的境地。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">在古代，大部分人都要参与到繁重的体力劳动中，挑水、砍柴、修屋、开荒、耕田都十分辛苦，只有男性才能承担，日常经济保障和争夺水源、保卫田地，就由男性主导，而女性可选择参与的社会活动很小，只从事劳动强度偏低的工作，比如纺织、刺绣、做饭、饲养家禽、照料小孩等，在经济上陷入了弱势，基本成为男性的附属。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">古代出行更是又危险又麻烦，普通人一辈子没出过县城，能远行的一般是官员和商人，官员代表政治权力，商人代表经济权力，这两样就更被男性牢牢把持，社会道德与法律也全面倒向了男性，女性要在很小时指定婚姻，早早嫁给一名陌生人，才能成为一名合格的社会角色。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">其实大家也不要简单地用压迫女性这个角度，来阅读古代的生产关系，古代生产力太低，活下去很不容易，男性面临着繁重体力活和生存压力，耕种渔猎服徭役战争都是男人在扛，会对身体造成不可逆的损伤，这种痛苦，天天躺床上拿手机刷视频的现代人难以想象，男性是在玩命生存，需要女性提供后方照料，家庭单元是互补关系。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">别说古代了，就是我在攀枝花采访当年的老三线工人，他们拿出五十年前的合影，给我一个一个讲里面的人物，同年龄的男性都去世得七七八八，而女性大多健在，一位老三线人说：男人苦哇，流血流汗一辈子，都是累坏了身体先走的。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">男性拼命维持家庭这个单元，女性则让渡出部分权力，不用参与更艰苦的劳作。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">生产力低下时期，这种共生关系不能轻易破坏，否则会导致社会经济体系失衡，女性还因为无法获取收入，要是离了回娘家，娘家人也会嫌她增加经济负担，因此离婚女性要遭受到巨大舆论谴责，活在古代的女性一旦嫁出去，就真的成了泼出去的水，没什么退路。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">所以富婆李瓶儿一直没什么安全感，一次接一次地嫁人，找政治和经济上的主心骨。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">哪怕她拥有财富，但她一个人守不住财富，政治经济体系，是需要男性来主持的。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我亲历过的<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">1980</span>年代湖南农村，跟古代生产生活区别还不大，普通家庭就是多了电灯，村里会有一条铺满碎石的土路，可以辗转几趟破中巴或改装三轮车进城，其他放牛、耕田、挑水、喂猪、洗衣等工作，上千年一直这样忙活。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">直到电视、空调、洗衣机、自来水在<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">2000</span>年代进入农村，农民们才接触到真正意义上的现代生活。<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">2010</span>年后汽车和互联网在农村普及，农民们日子才过得舒心了些。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">中国离婚率的变迁，跟中国工业化发展周期，以及农村现代化的周期是一模一样的，婚姻原本是一种男女协作生存的组织关系，当繁重的体力活被机械取代，完善的法制重点保护弱势的女性，能坐在办公室工作就能获取经济收入后，女性从经济独立走向人格独立，开始摆脱过去的婚姻从属关系，要为自己而活了。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">过去女性不能离婚、不敢离婚，最激烈的宁肯喝农药结束人生，也不愿承担离婚后的生活压力，但现在生产力上来了，女性获得了主动否定婚姻的能力，她们有了更多的选择权。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">按相关部门的统计，中国<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">70%</span>的离婚是由女性提出的，这是女性人格解放的重要标志。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">过去婚姻不幸就等于人生不幸，现在不同了，离婚只是离婚，那只是人生的一个小站台，不是人生的全部。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">爱情和婚姻被文艺作品过度美化过，使许多人对婚姻有着不切实际的美好幻想，真实的婚姻生活其实大多都一地鸡毛，睡在一起的两个人，常常会被对方尖锐的个性扎伤，这世上谁能没个脾气，别说爱得死去活来，能好好相处都十分不容易。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">事实上我们的爷爷奶奶、爸爸妈妈一代，通常不是他们喜欢对方而一起安度完今生，而是生活压力逼迫他们绑定在一起走完一辈子，他们跟我们的烦恼是一样的，同样痛苦过、同样对喷过，同样为了家务活摔过碗，为了一句伤人的对白翻过脸。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">他们也想过离婚，但离婚的成本太高，他们承受不起，就凑合着过吧。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">但现在不一样了，女性可以在一二线城市，轻易找到一份稳定的工作，她有经济能力对冲离婚后的风险，她们没有后顾之忧，可以大大方方提离婚了。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">由于男性中肯定也有一部分品性不好的存在，要么懒要么脏要么不负责任，许多女性觉得跟这种男性过完一生，其生活品质还不如单身，她们会果断地选择自己过一辈子。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">其实我一直觉得，我妈要是有经济能力，她三十多岁就不会跟我爸过了，能到死还是夫妻，主要是家境贫寒造成的。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我曾经统计过，现在珠三角这边我认识的同龄人里，已经有七名<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">40</span>岁上下的女性一直未嫁，或者嫁人不到半年马上离婚，她们在广州深圳都有一份体面的工作，有不错的收入，能够保障生活需求，现在年龄大了选择范围极小，嫁人对她们来说是降低生活品质，我估摸着她们是终身不会结婚了。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">中国<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">80</span>后这些终身不会嫁人的中产女性，是中国工业化进程中的正常现象，是女性获得自立空间的具体表现，不要用可悲的神情打量这种现象，别人怎么做选择是别人的事，我们只要知道有这种事发生，但不要去围观、去哀叹，更不要用居高临下的怜悯态度，去打扰她们选择的生活方式。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">中国的剩男和剩女处在两个不同的端点，剩女往往条件还不错，剩男往往条件真的不太好，剩女是不可能嫁给剩男的，欧洲文艺复兴时期，诞生了历史上第一批受过教育终身不嫁的剩女，她们可不会嫁给欧洲的穷苦农民，最后都以“家庭教师”为掩护，在各个贵族的城堡里终老。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">现在中国的情况是一样的，一二线城市的中产剩女，不可能嫁给中西部农村剩下的男性，她们的教育和经济实力碾压对方，他们是两条平行线，强拧也拧不到一块。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">80</span>后终身孤老的女性，应该是完成工业化后，中国第一波这一类人群，不出意外，后面<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">90</span>后、<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">00</span>后，也会涌现出一定数量的终身孤老的城市女性，这是正常的社会变迁，大家不用大惊小怪。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">如果不是中国及时学习韩国，从<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">2021</span>年搞了“离婚冷静期”这个流程，我怀疑我们的离婚率还会再冲一冲，说不定能跑到<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">4</span>‰<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; font-family: Calibri;">-5</span>‰，但幸好及时启动了这项功能，帮中国高企的离婚率刹了刹车。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">以现在的生产力发展程度来看，婚姻还是无法摆脱“基于财产的强制和规范”的协作关系，去作为构筑社会的底层单元，并不是纯粹的情感共生关系。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">如果像恩格斯所说，不存在经济关系才是真正的婚姻，那先得彻底解决生产力问题，毕竟不谈生存，哪里来的发展。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">另外婚姻也从来不是爱情的必要形式和必然结果，爱情这个东西本身也有保鲜期，现在能保鲜两年就已经很惊世骇俗了，我们要警惕婚姻完全物质化，但更要警惕对爱情的过度浪漫化。</span></p><p style="margin: 0px 16px 24px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: 宋体; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">做一个有趣的现实主义者，才能更积极地面对这又辛苦又无聊的人生。</span></p><p>来源：卢克文</p><link rel="stylesheet" href="//www.dafuping.cn/source/plugin/wcn_editor/public/wcn_editor_fit.css?v134_kAQ" id="wcn_editor_css"/>
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